Using embarrassment to our advantage

As Karen shared in a previous post, it’s so easy to judge others for their passions. Ironically, it’s so easy to judge ourselves too! This point was driven home for me recently when a good friend and I shared with each other what our passions are.

A couple of things really stood out from our conversation:

1) We both needed some time to come up with an answer to the seemingly simple question of what are we passionate about!

2) Much of our initial discussion was rather hesitant and questioning. For example, we both used phrases like ‘I guess I like…’ or ‘Maybe it’s …'

3) When we mentioned a possible true passion, we both let out a bit of a nervous laugh. To me, that was completely in line with Tabitha’s observations about women feeling embarrassed about their passions. And objectively there was nothing at all ‘embarrassing’ or shameful about our interests. But we nonetheless felt judged by society’s messaging.

So why am I sharing this somewhat depressing reflection in our playful practice section?

Because connecting with that little embarrassed laugh was a powerful moment of permission. It was a sign that we had hit upon something meaningful for us, that in fact needs the opportunity to be more fully and frequently experienced. Even just unapologetically stating our interests to each other was a wonderful first step.

Which got me thinking about further steps we can all take. For example, if you, like us, are initially feeling a bit stuck on what might be a passion of yours, try thinking back to what gave you pleasure and joy when you were a child, before you ‘packed up your passions’. What immediately pops into your mind? What shows up as a fleeting memory or thought, but then perhaps get pushed away by your adult self? What makes you laugh a bit nervously when you think about it?

That is a sign of a passion that can be reignited.

And here is your permission - if you need it - to reignite your passion, without the need to apologize or feel embarrassed or feel like you aren’t being ‘adult enough’. Or like you aren’t being a ‘responsible therapist’. (We know, that is a tough one!)

Your adult therapist self deserves to experience pleasure and joy too! We hope you will let her.