Self-care can be uncomfortable (but worth it!)

A few years ago I knew I needed to make a change in one of my clinical practice areas.

I had been working with individuals who had experienced a motor vehicle accident (MVA) and were accessing services through the MVA insurance system in Ontario. I have always strongly believed that psychological services should be widely available and I really appreciate that the MVA system makes therapy available to many people who otherwise would not have access to it. Through this work I also had some wonderful experiences of collaborating with other health professionals in supporting our mutual MVA clients.

The system has a lot of flaws, however, especially when it comes to coverage of psychological services. As a result, after a few years of working with MVA clients I reached a point where I wanted/needed to focus my services elsewhere. I realized working within the MVA system was something I could no longer sustainably be part of.

I by no means made this decision quickly or lightly. Some of my MVA clients were facing significant struggles and I hated the idea of ending our therapy relationship. It took me a number of months to finally get up the courage to stick with my decision.

Of course I didn’t just need courage to make my decision. I needed even more courage to communicate my decision to my clients. That was really the hardest part! I carefully considered the timing and what to say, ensuring I was giving my clients enough notice that we could process the change together, as well as enough notice to coordinate continued care.

I clearly remember how nervous I felt when I first shared with each client that in a few months time I would be ending my MVA work. As expected, no one was excited to hear the news, but everyone was understanding and also expressed that they appreciated the time we had worked together. I shared in that appreciation, and consequently feel that despite (or maybe because of) the initial sadness we were able to have meaningful conversations about what the process of therapy to that point had been like for them.

The conversations started in a place I really wanted to avoid facing (ie, disappointing my clients) but ended in really touching and human interactions.

Importantly as well, immediately after those sessions I felt a noticeable lifting of the burden that I had been carrying associated with the MVA work. My body and mind felt lighter and more spacious. It had been an incredibly difficult process but one that I knew was the right path to take, and the shift in my body was evidence of that.

We all are going to face difficult decisions in our work at times, that can nonetheless lead to really meaningful improvements in our own well being. Some of those decisions may be smaller, like taking some time off, and some will be bigger, like closing a practice. And they can all involve some real discomfort that requires courage to overcome.

I hope that we can all remember that making uncomfortable decisions is one of the best things we can do for our self-care, even if it doesn’t seem like it at first!

Where will your reflactions take you?