Responding to imposter syndrome

In today’s podcast we challenge the incredibly unhelpful belief that self-care is something that we can just check off once and be done with. Unfortunately, this outdated belief can lead us to rely on one or two activities that don’t capture the true nuances of self-care and that don’t necessarily align with our current realities.

Truly effective self-care needs to be personalized and regularly re-visited and tweaked to truly meet our changing needs and circumstances.

The importance of this might be particularly evident during major life events such as a pandemic, a job change, an illness (our own or that of a loved one), a loss, a change of residence, the birth of a child, and the list goes on and on.

But it’s an equally important consideration during less obvious times. For example, as the seasons change (going for walks outside may not be as appealing in the winter as it is in summer) or as the demands and/or stressors of our work change.

As therapists, it is simply inevitable that there will be times when, despite our best efforts and resources, our clients continue to struggle in profound ways. It’s often a stark reminder of what is and isn’t within our power.

And if you’re like me, it’s times like that when we’re most vulnerable to imposter syndrome.

I remember one time, not all that long ago, when I found myself struggling with imposter syndrome in ways that were no match for my existing self-care. With some self-reflection and self-care experimentation I was, however, able to find three incredibly helpful and complimentary self-care practices that really did support me (and, by extension, my clients) in getting through that difficult time.

1. I began paying for monthly 1 hour consultation meetings with a respected colleague. These meetings helped me explore other possible therapeutic approaches and reminded me of the many ways I was already being therapeutic.
2. I also developed an incredibly simple (yet effective) system aimed at gaining a more realistic perspective about my efficacy as a therapist. The reality is, we are human and our brains will just naturally focus on the negative and ignore the positive unless we make a conscious effort to broaden our focus. So, with that in mind I purchased three small jars and some small colourful beads and used these items to capture sessions when I had felt I was not at all helpful, somewhat helpful, and very helpful. This helped me focus on all my therapy sessions and provided a quick visual reminder of the value of my work.
3. And, thanks to my consultation meetings and bottles and beads, self-compassion also came more easily. I was able to remind myself that it’s natural for a therapist to have these experiences and that I am a competent, caring therapist AND I simply do not have the power to help everyone to the extent that I wish I could.

So, the next time you notice a shift in yourself or your circumstances, remind yourself of the importance of personalized self-care, because the reality is, it may just be time for a change.

Where will your reflactions take you?