Reflaction: Responsibility to - but not for - our clients

During our Psychology Month webinar with Dr. Maelisa McCaffrey of QA Prep she made a comment about the reality that as therapists we are not responsible for our client’s decisions. ‘Yes, great point’, I thought at the time.

Since then, however, I’ve realized it’s a foundational point.

Of course, rationally we all know this – clearly we are not responsible for the things our clients do or say. (Even as a parent, we aren’t directly responsible for the things our children do or say, as much as it might feel that way!) And I have never expected my own therapist to take any responsibility for me.

But I think it is so common to act as though we are responsible for our clients. For example, feeling disappointed when a client doesn’t complete their homework, or frustrated when a client makes poor money decisions (we never make poor money decisions ourselves!), or even irritated when a client continues to engage in unhealthy relationships. Because we feel it’s a reflection on our competence as a therapist.

This of course isn’t to say that we don’t have responsibilities in our work. It is our responsibility to explore these challenges with clients in a caring and non-judgemental way, to help them understand what gets in their way, and to help them consider alternative courses of action. But what they do with that information is ultimately up to them. And we of course have a responsibility to take precautionary actions if a client or vulnerable person is at risk of harm.

But you may notice an important theme here: responsibility to, not responsibility for

Yes we have a responsibility to our clients, but we do not have a responsibility for our clients.

How does recognizing this difference matter to self-care and to documentation?

If we truly recognize that we are not responsible for our clients, we can:

• worry less about how we word our notes
• ruminate less about what we said/didn’t say during a session
• feel less need to be (over) prepared for every possible eventuality in a session
• give ourselves more permission to spend time on our own well-being

It is true that being a therapist is a significant responsibility. AND we are only responsible for ourselves.

We hope you can take in this message and feel the positive shift this helps to create!

Where will your reflactions take you?