Moving into courage - Part 1

My family is moving half-way across the country this summer.

Yes, that is as exciting and stressful as it sounds!

I/we have actually moved many times before, but this is the first move (not counting when we were students) that we are organizing without employer supports. I do think that overall we are doing a decent job of keeping all the tasks organized, and I trust that despite some normal bumps along the road (no pun intended) everything will work out in the end.

But a few things have really stood out for me so far in this process:

1) Moving is hard!

This one is pretty obvious, as anyone who has moved knows. Nonetheless, I find it helps me to just simply state this out loud and make space for the reality. Because it is very true. Lots of logistics, and lots of emotions. Which brings me to...

2) Goodbyes are hard! (And affirming)

As I mentioned, we have moved before, and in fact said goodbye to some of the same people we now have to say goodbye to again. It’s also a new experience navigating not only goodbyes as an adult, but also helping our son to understand and process goodbyes with his friends, as well as appreciating that this is sad and new for them too. At the same time, I’m trying to make sure that I take in all the love in various forms that comes with the goodbyes. Knowing that we have made some wonderful connections with both colleagues and friends (some of whom have become like family) is really heartwarming. I know this sounds sappy! But again, very true.

3) Living an intentional, values-based life is hard!

So this one has been a bit of a surprise...

The whole reason for our move is to be closer to family, to take advantage of some new work opportunities, and to (hopefully) re-engage in a bit more of the travel-filled life we had pre-pandemic. These are things we value and are looking forward to experiencing more of.

AND, it’s been really fascinating to notice - borrowing from ACT - how so many ‘passengers on the bus’ (or 'passengers on the moving truck'!) show up at times, trying to convince me that maybe we don’t want to move, it’s risky, a bad decision, too stressful, won't find new clients, will never make new friends, etc., etc.

Confronting these passengers has been a real exercise in flexing my courage muscles. And I know that I will need to keep drawing on courage throughout the summer and fall as we actually go through the move itself, get oriented in our new home, school, and work settings, and adjust and adapt to what this next phase will look like. Come to think of it, a good dose of compassion, connection, and creativity will also be needed!

On that note, we at Intentional Therapist will be taking the rest of July and August off from the blog and podcast to recharge and reorient. We hope many of you will also be taking some time this summer to recharge. For whatever reasons, summer often seems like a time that many of us can more easily give ourselves permission to be less available. So we hope you will take advantage of the opportunity too.

And stay tuned for updates in our upcoming posts about how the move unfolds!

P.S. In the meantime, here’s my plan for those pesky passengers: When the movers come to load our things onto the moving truck, all my passengers can either find a spot in a box in there too, if they must, or stay here. They are not coming in the car, and if they do take a ride in the moving truck, they will not be unboxed at our destination. At least, not intentionally. I will be on the lookout for passengers slipping out of boxes, and will be willing to pack them back up as needed. Packing tape is cheap. :)

Would love to hear any other strategies for moving into courage! It’s always so much easier when we know we aren’t alone.