Adding to - and subtracting from - the to-do list

Did you know that humans are programmed to a stress response that causes us to respond to feeling overwhelmed by engaging in actions that actually lead to us feeling even MORE overwhelmed?

As Dr. Yael Schonbrun discusses in our podcast interview (and in more detail in her excellent book), it turns out in pre-modern times stress was primarily associated with deficits (think deficits in food, shelter, connections with our tribe, etc.) so it naturally activated an “adding-oriented action”, as that increased our chance for survival. For example, if we believed we were at risk of being ousted by the tribe, the natural survival response would be to add actions in an effort to prove your value to the tribe. Having a connection to the tribe was truly a way of maximizing our chance of survival. So, adding-oriented actions (i.e., working hard to prove your value to the tribe) was a highly adaptive stress response. Adding-oriented actions also help us feel more in control and let’s face it that feels pretty good to us humans!

Although we might not be able to turn off our human programming, the good news is that we can become more intentional and strategic about what we add - and what we subtract.

In Yael's book she offers a great decision framework that encourages us to consider our individual realities and the risks and benefits inherent in both adding- and subtracting-oriented actions. I also learned there is a “subtraction expert” (who knew such a person existed?!) by the name of Leidy Klotz who suggests we bundle our “to-do” list with a “stop-doing” list as a way of taking advantage of our hard-wired adding-oriented actions as a prompt to consider subtraction-oriented actions.

I don’t know about you but I love the feeling I get from crossing items off my “to-do” list, so the idea of also creating a “stop-doing” list sounds pretty appealing. So the next time you’re creating your “to-do” list, be sure to leave some space on your paper for the “stop-doing” list too!